Opinions needed!

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KIING-LACURA's avatar
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So...just finally finished making grimms creepypasta story and need some opinion on the story =P also forgive my grammar I can't seem to find a good grammar checker thing Dx here we go!
 I was a regular ordinary 15 year old.normal town,normal school,normal neighborhood.
well,except for what went on in my house...my dad was an alcoholic asshole and mom  never took part in raising me.my dad often got drunk and called me useless,stupid,mistake,a burden even.I spent most of my time in my room crying and pulling my hair and yelling at myself.One day,My dad busted into my room and yelled at me"Were the fuck is my boose you slut!"I ignored him and continued finishing my homework.he dashed towards my bed and pulled my hair."Are you fucking ignoring me,huh? You little peice of shit!"she uppercutted me and threw my across the room.he then came towards me and started punching me in the face.as he punched me over and over I yelled out in pain.I tried to escape but he kept grabbing me and hurting me again and again!I was suddenly reminded about a pocket knife I had in my back pocker and slowly grabbed it and opened it while he continued hurting me.I closed my eyes and thrusted the knife into him.When I opened my eyes I saw the knife stab him in the heart and his eyes widened before his body feel straight on me.I hyperventilated on the floor with wide eyes as I realised the blood running down to the floor and realised what I had just done.I quickly grabbed a couple things and put it in my bag and ran out the house to a near by gas station and entered the restroom.I slid down the wall and sat on the floor sobbing feeling a mixed emotion of anger,sadness,fear,and frustration.and out of this feeling I instantly without even thinking grabbed a razor from my bag and shaved the side of my head.I didn't purposely do it.its like I was being controled.I sobbed on the floor once again as flashbacks of what just happened flooded my mind.I realised I was gonna have to change my appearence so that the cops wouldn't find her.she grabbed her back and headed to a costume store across the street I had been to before.I went threw the aisles looking for some hair dye and I spotted a burgandy red dye and grabbed it.then at the corner of my eyes I saw some facepaint....I didn't know why but it catched my attention.I decided I would buy it just incase.I also got a pair of contact lenses that looked pretty cool.I grabbed the products and headed to the cashier.They smiled and asked If I was pranking someone and I smiled akwardly and lied."Yes."The cashier gave me my change and I headed to the gas station restroom once again.I started dying my hair and washing it.I dried it off and changed my clothes to a dull colored long sleeve shirt and some black leather jeans,and a pair of black combat boots.I stared over at the face paint.I suddenly had a feeling I should paint my face...I snatched the paint and started painting myself.I painted my whole face white and then painted large black circles around my eyes and then painted a smile-like skull design from ear to ear.and some dots on my nose.I looked at myself in the mirror. I suddenly began to grin and laughed joyfully..No...not joyfully...but...MAD..I felt like a psychopath and let me tell you...It felt amazing.I had the desire to stab something.....a bag....a pillow....No......A person...I cackled and head outside of the restroom with my bag and headed down the street.A group of skating punks skated pass me...they stopped right infront of me..."Well,look what we got here boys!looks like this skank doesn't know halloween was 5 months ago!"They all laughed at me as the punk made fun on me.I clenche my fists and got into one of there faces."Listen you fucking punk right now isnt the time!"I said aggresively.the kid grabbed a peice of my hair"What are you gonna do about it skank?"Bam!The knife went right threw his stomach as he coughed out blood and fell to the floor.The desire was back and it felt sooo good!another one of the punks ran towards me trying to stab me with his pocket knife but I uppercuted him and he fell to the floor.the third punk cam from behind but I turned right in time and snapped his neck as he fell on the floor dead.the punk that I had upper cutted came towards me and he stabbed my sholder I grunted but then I grabbed his arm as he pulled my hair.I cryed out but I wasent gonna let the punk win just yet! I grabbed his arm twisted it and elbowed it.I heard his bones crush and it sounded like heaven to my ears.He cryed out loudly as I fled quickly from the scene..but now...Its been 3 years and that beautiful desire to kill hasen't left my veins....oh how it feels so amazing to thrust my lovely knife into the delicate organs of there helpless bodies.....know that im still here..and I could be watching you right now....
© 2014 - 2024 KIING-LACURA
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Erschi's avatar
oh well, what a good story!

i even got to the point of thinking adding she to my story but... well she isn´t mine so i gonna tell some of my opinions/ideas

she need to have...something to make he comfortable because she was a human, every human need something to comfort them, to make them calm so that they won´t kill them selfs or cry for the rest of their lives.

if she is somekind of creep pasta(i can´t even say this name without felling a chilling effect, i fear those legends) them she needs some kind of power to scare ANYONE but nothing tooooo exaggerated. something like tentacles, ability of controlling dreams, cause fear in hearts by just looking at someone,making a area become dark, possession those kind of things.

oh yeah and a difference between a psychotic killer and a spirit